newfound appreciation

for gospel music.

too legit.

that's all.

hat tips to lauren mackenzie and steven douglas duffy.

O Sacred Head

all of the verses. beautiful.

O sacred Head, now wounded, with grief and shame weighed down,
Now scornfully surrounded with thorns, Thine only crown;
How pale Thou art with anguish, with sore abuse and scorn!
How does that visage languish, which once was bright as morn!

What Thou, my Lord, hast suffered, was all for sinners’ gain;
Mine, mine was the transgression, but Thine the deadly pain.
Lo, here I fall, my Savior! ’Tis I deserve Thy place;
Look on me with Thy favor, vouchsafe to me Thy grace.

Men mock and taunt and jeer Thee, Thou noble countenance,
Though mighty worlds shall fear Thee and flee before Thy glance.
How art thou pale with anguish, with sore abuse and scorn!
How doth Thy visage languish that once was bright as morn!

Now from Thy cheeks has vanished their color once so fair;
From Thy red lips is banished the splendor that was there.
Grim death, with cruel rigor, hath robbed Thee of Thy life;
Thus Thou hast lost Thy vigor, Thy strength in this sad strife.

My burden in Thy Passion, Lord, Thou hast borne for me,
For it was my transgression which brought this woe on Thee.
I cast me down before Thee, wrath were my rightful lot;
Have mercy, I implore Thee; Redeemer, spurn me not!

What language shall I borrow to thank Thee, dearest friend,
For this Thy dying sorrow, Thy pity without end?
O make me Thine forever, and should I fainting be,
Lord, let me never, never outlive my love to Thee.

My Shepherd, now receive me; my Guardian, own me Thine.
Great blessings Thou didst give me, O source of gifts divine.
Thy lips have often fed me with words of truth and love;
Thy Spirit oft hath led me to heavenly joys above.

Here I will stand beside Thee, from Thee I will not part;
O Savior, do not chide me! When breaks Thy loving heart,
When soul and body languish in death’s cold, cruel grasp,
Then, in Thy deepest anguish, Thee in mine arms I’ll clasp.

The joy can never be spoken, above all joys beside,
When in Thy body broken I thus with safety hide.
O Lord of Life, desiring Thy glory now to see,
Beside Thy cross expiring, I’d breathe my soul to Thee.

My Savior, be Thou near me when death is at my door;
Then let Thy presence cheer me, forsake me nevermore!
When soul and body languish, oh, leave me not alone,
But take away mine anguish by virtue of Thine own!

Be Thou my consolation, my shield when I must die;
Remind me of Thy passion when my last hour draws nigh.
Mine eyes shall then behold Thee, upon Thy cross shall dwell,
My heart by faith enfolds Thee. Who dieth thus dies well.

aesthetics and annoyances.

i'm pretty distracted and little upset and i consequently cannot sleep.

dear unc. i hate you and that will never change. shut your fat face.

joseph, you don't actually have to read this. unless you're just dying to know about what i do in my free time.

ahemahemahem.

dear dairy:

"today chris knocked me over on the pavement on purpose but he said he did it on accident."

so today i tried something new...

i started with a green tea and clove mixture for rosacea...also for some scars, but that really didn't do much. i keep jumping from one product to the next: i like the idea of aromatherapy and teas and whatnot...

anyway, after the green tea/clove thing, i did a straight honey mask. so far i've only tried clover honey. it smells the best and it's the cheapest. i was terrified that it would backfire and my skin would explode or something...but i washed it off with my homemade facewash (oats, salt and jasmine) and my face feels pretty good and is relatively clear.

working on hand lotions. i like what milk does to my skin, but how the heck am i supposed to keep it from going bad? i guess once it goes in the emulsifier with the oils and salts, it will demilkify. not a word. and nobody give it away. fundamentals are the building blocks of fun.

i've made way too many foot and hands scrubs for my own good. i'm running out of tupperware containers. i want to get sand or apricot pits to add to the scrubs, but all i have now is sugar and salt. i'm so very poor.

working on shampoo and toothpaste. yikes. moving from the teas to pastes. i'm not afraid to experiment with shampoo, but something in me cannot bear to put something with a horrible texture and a bad taste in my mouth. dear God, give me wisdom. i hate toothpaste anyway...i thought about tooth powder, but that's so old-timey and i can imagine choking on the dust and ughhh gross. OOH! i bought a little dental kit from publix. $6 for one of those little mirrors (it lights up!) and two different scrapey and scalpelly things. one's sharper, the other slightly broader. it's quite hard to clean your own teeth; i have sanitation formula, though, so i can sneak up on chelsea when she's sleeping and have a good romp without feeling too guilty...

i'm curious as how to add tint to lip balm. beet juice? wine? i don't know how to make it temporary. food colouring is 1) a dumb idea because it doesn't come out and it stains the creases of your lips, and you end up looking like a grandmother at the end of easter lunch and 2) totally unnatural. i don't even know why i thought about it. get behind me, satan.

my makeshift double-boiler is working really well. too bad our stove has a temper--i think the alarm has been going off for four straight hours.

and i don't think this can ever be a vegan thing. the honey is really great. OH! and i did a full-body vanilla and sugar scrub. i smell like a doll. the vanilla kind of made me look tanner, which was weird. definitely a little sunburnt from piedmont park. i'd like to buy an aloe plant...i've got four different anti-inflammatory herbs in the drawer, but i need something that actually makes the burn less intense.

still can't think of a name, but i had fun with the whole logo idea. eve's...organic...stuff....

more importantly, i still can't decide if this is legit or not.

i looked into the idea of dermatology. it's 4 years on TOP of med school. no thank you.

the international school of skin and nailcare is right down the road and i'm so very tempted. the alternative medicine schools in portland, ME and ipswich, MA look incredible. so does the florida college of natural health in orlando. i wish i were more financially independent...how chill would it be to actually go to China to learn acupuncture. translator or no translator.

i think part of me is scared because opening a business typically means staying put for a while...i don't like that idea.

but then, part of me is just burning with curiosity because i never HAVE stayed put. i keep thinking about the far-future--especially family things--and i can't help but feel that my kids will appreciate a cultured family who knows the difference between vacations/mission trips and pack-your-bags-we're-going-to-kenya.

and speaking of kenya...i had a truly horrible time today trying to explain why i'm so passionate about going to kenya. the people i was speaking to just couldn't accept that it's a country that has fascinated me for years. it really bothered me that i couldn't give them a satisfying answer. it shouldn't, i don't think, but it made me doubt my dreams. NO SIR. bad llama.

i miss choo-choos and inoko express, but i don't know which one i miss more. i think choo-choos. their tofu was exquisite.

i don't know why i chose to rent steel magnolias. i've seen and read the play so many times and i have no idea why i thought it would be good for me to see it again. crying really dried my face out, and i can't really figure out what i can use to make it feel better. i don't like touching my skin this much, but it's [hopefully someday going to end up being] for a good cause.

and i almost miss chelsea shouting in her sleep.

oh and good friday to you, too.

Colin William Green.

Rest in Peace, Colin. I hope you know how much everyone misses you. We loved you and, even though your spirit will always be present, pushing us to do everything wholeheartedly, we can't believe you're gone. I can't say much else right now. Say hey to God for me, will you?

Lord.

Mend the one who is broken

Soften the one who is hardened

Listen to the one who does not speak

and Calm the one whose anger is thunder

Humble the one who boasts

and Inspire the runner who stumbles

Hold one whose spirit crumbles

and Dry one's face, so drenched with sorrow

Bring Life to the Living and Peace to the Quick;

Peace to the Living and Life Everlasting to those who have passed.

Deliver us.

Dona nobis Pacem

Joshua Lee Anderson

January 16th, 1992 - March 18th, 2009

http://www.rememberingjosh.blogspot.com

Josh, I love you and miss you more than you could ever know.

A Valediction of Weeping

John Donne

LET me pour forth
My tears before thy face, whilst I stay here,
For thy face coins them, and thy stamp they bear,
And by this mintage they are something worth.
For thus they be
Pregnant of thee ;
Fruits of much grief they are, emblems of more ;
When a tear falls, that thou fall'st which it bore ;
So thou and I are nothing then, when on a divers shore.

On a round ball
A workman, that hath copies by, can lay
An Europe, Afric, and an Asia,
And quickly make that, which was nothing, all.
So doth each tear,
Which thee doth wear,
A globe, yea world, by that impression grow,
Till thy tears mix'd with mine do overflow
This world, by waters sent from thee, my heaven dissolvèd so.

O ! more than moon,
Draw not up seas to drown me in thy sphere ;
Weep me not dead, in thine arms, but forbear
To teach the sea, what it may do too soon ;
Let not the wind
Example find
To do me more harm than it purposeth :
Since thou and I sigh one another's breath,
Whoe'er sighs most is cruellest, and hastes the other's death.

associations.

danny boy toy barn yard sale fire place sutton fawlty forty winks noddy nelson youmans hamilton crank bartlett pear sex.

orange vodka scott green peace love fern gully rider nicholas vicar dyslexia charlotte carolina mariah goodwin kadjul camp lauren davis math integrate parks kimberly moody alastor polyjuice cat egypt pharaoh mitchell jose hose-B political internet.

vacuum brittani boil show choir honour jew kaplan vaughn raccoon frame framingham live dove G.O.B. maybe just henry snowflakes porsche garcia dirty south pole milne bear beets battlestar gallactica.

umbrella rogers cardigan lohan lohan trout holes bleach sunny ashley hobbs calvin alvin chipmunk nii sacrifice goat escape.

teaching my roommate how to play.

plate tectonics globe grape apple orange banana orange blue lavender tea-tree oil food rice cake bundt baseball simon birch tree willow pocahontas thomas obenhause garage band roy clemons dawn kulsar iraq war tolstoy book end beginning back seat carnation valentine martyr carter jimmy jackson youtube atlanta marta pernita dead sad scarf stranger danger hurtle track run forest tree foo-foo fairy tooth pillow orange waterbottle waffle-iron pancake freezer bear beet music tofu edamame elizabeth johnson nineties dylan jessica sausage soy-sage gay flying regina window coker james folker tall gazelle africa elizabeth johnson severed snape sense dollars bag eye see shells lighthouse soap latte farty mugatu ants derelicte balls hansolo leia buns burning dorm potato daniel david throw-up screwtape devil prada new york bagel H&H H&M clothes lauren youmans tall james glasses shoes feet toe burger feeny boys dark genesis phil collins light black closet nap siren odysseus homer doughnought rope kyle chacon elizabeth johnson playground playskool plastic elastic turtle hurtle running bear indian incorrect forgive forget you not dough nought you suck chupa choop that ship me fa la tea dough nut case siren nuts larry us today tomorrow hat think fast clear clean control freak out back yard sale boat t-payne alyssa elizabeth johnson farted fluffed puffed weed whacker pubes chin dynasty tut atlanta braves chop suey fooey pooey crap it sucks me so happy birthday joy kathryn costello abbott bridge builder bob fix that cat hat clerk store bought nought B safe house home louse grouse eliott smith framingham blowfish jennifer modeling barbie 2000 monkeys bananas stefani blonde cake song book church cape fly kite cumberland burlington coats blood funny john baker lady water excalibur.